If you are preparing for a divorce, you may have heard or read that an amicable divorce is often best, especially if you have children. Amicable, or uncontested, divorce occurs when both spouses are able to resolve their divorce matters without litigation. At Blankenship Massey & Associates, Attorneys at Law, we know that divorcing amicably can reduce conflict in many cases for Kentucky couples, and that this may be beneficial to children. However, there may be some unforeseen and surprising ramifications to divorcing without conflict, which you should know about so you can address them appropriately.
According to Psych Central, your children might not understand the reasons for your divorce if you are going about it calmly and maturely. This type of conflict resolution is a good example for children to learn from, as long as you can help them understand that your marriage wasn’t working and that no amount of negotiation would help. You may want to explain that it is important for you and the other parent to get along in order to remain effective and loving parents, even if you were not able to remain married.
If your children do not understand that you can get along during your divorce and while co-parenting, but that a happy marriage was not possible, they might have unrealistic hopes that you could reconcile. They could worry that the divorce was their own fault, fear that you don’t love them anymore or believe that they must take sides. It is important during this time to reassure your children that both of you love them and that they had no part in your decision to divorce. You might also discuss the reasons you needed to split up, if your children are old enough to understand.
Divorce is never easy on children, but reducing conflict can help them adjust, as long as their worries and questions are addressed. Learn more about your divorce options by visiting our divorce page.